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Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to stop and reflect upon the things in our lives that we're thankful for. And in this blog entry, I thought I'd do just that and express my gratitude for something that really matters to me...
Girls Kissing Other Girls.
If you're one of those special ladies who has ever felt the urge and acted upon it, to deep french kiss another girl, I want to thank you for that. On this special day, let's talk a little bit about this important feature of the bar social scene and revel in it, a little bit.
Not only is a good, deep, long girl-on-girl kiss, a healthy expression of a woman's appreciation for another woman but it's also fun for parties and other social gatherings. Nobody assumes that because you're making out with your drunk friend, that you're going to go down on her in the ladies room. (Although, these ladies did just that. No pressure. I'm just sayin'.) We, Happy Spectators, know that you're just "havin' some fun". And we encourage that. Because later, when we're alone, we'll masturbate vigorously to that mental image. (Assuming that our own alcoholic consumption didn't wash it clean away.)
Good, clean fun for you.
Dirty, nasty spank material for us.
That's a win-win situation right there!
There's a double-standard carried on in our society. A time-honored tradition that is so revered, that it's rarely ever spoken about. Ladies, it's okay for you tongue-joust with your lady-friends. But it's absolutely forbidden for me and my male buddy to do the same. Good for you. Bad for me. And that's a good thing! Enjoy this privilege which is yours and yours alone. So many other social doors are barred to you (presidency, most business management positions, cowboys), that you should make use of the things that are just for you!
This is one of those GOOD double-standards! Enjoy it!
On this Thanksgiving, I want to give a special "THANK YOU" to all the little ladies and their mohitos and the amazing things that they will do to each other, in front of us, in our bars.
Thanks, ladies!
And now, a musical montage of precisely what I'm talking about...
And Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!
Mr.B
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4 comments:
Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. B!
I agree with you on the whole double-standard thing, too: two girls kissing - HOT, two guys kissing - awkward.
Here's hoping your holiday season is chock-full of tipsy ladies making out in front of you! (And cleaning your apartment in their underthings.)
Oh great. Now I'm weeping like a baby missing my college girlfriend. Thanks A LOT Mr. B. Now I have to go eat some leftover turkey to assuage my grief.
Also, where the hell are the Buffy clips? Seems like the vidder kind of missed a good bet there.
Also also, I think the world would be a better place if drunken straight guys would make out with each other in bars.
Queenie,
I was just thinking about your theory about "Drunk straight guys making out with each other in bars" and I think I know why they don't.
Beyond the societally perpetuated stigmas of homophobia, beyond the inability to express tenderness and vulnerability with anyone (even the gals), there's the problem of our physical appearance. I mean, have you seen most guys over 30? Big, fat, balding, sweaty-palmed nose-breathers who're too busy doing shots of tequila to dull the pain of the slow slide into middle age. If single, attractive hetero girls don't want to make out with those guys, why would they?
So, sure, there might be other factors involved, but at the heart of it, might be the thought that making out with a sexy-assed, hot, college babe, with firm breasts and the habit of mewling a bit, like a kitten, when she's turned on is sexy to EVERYONE. Even other gals. Making out with the average 30 year old, bar patron is considerably less appealing.
That's my theory, anyways.
Cheers,
Mr.B
How come the guys have to be over 30 and balding? Why can't they be good looking, nicely built boys in their twenties? Hmm?
That being said, I agree with your analysis of why we don't get to enjoy the spectacle of straight boys making out in bars. I'm just saying that if the world were a better place...
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